August 07, 2018

How to Deal With Setbacks

Pastels & Pastries, how to deal with setbacks, overcoming pain, couch ridden, self worth, self help blogger

As I sit here writing this, I am couch ridden. Long story short I had an accident at our new house. Regardless of how it happened, I am here now with a boatload of stitches in my left foot and just dealing with it. When it first happened my only thoughts were "you are a fricken idiot", and "how could you let this happen".  After the hospital I went home and felt just miserable, I felt so sorry for myself and just could not let the feelings pass. After a night of feeling like this, I woke up and decided I needed to change my outlook. I needed to change my perspective on the whole issue. I knew I would not wake up 100% and I needed to be okay with that.

For a person that cannot sit still, needs to be doing something and likes to be independent, this was hard to come to terms with. I mean, I can't even walk to the washroom... B is having to literally carry me over there. But instead of focusing on what I cannot do, I need to focus on what I can do. I may not be able to walk but I can think. And I can think myself out of this one. 

If you are struggling with setbacks, mentally or physically I know how challenging and debilitating it can seem. We don't have control over the things we once did and it makes us feel horrible. In hopes to stay sain, I'm making a list of the ways I can deal and cope with this setback. Because it is just a setback, it is not permanent and it will pass. 

1. Let it go
Once you've had your episode of disbelief (because this is definitely going to happen), or anger, let it go. Don't get me wrong it is important to allow yourself time to grieve, but you cannot fixate on the grief. It doesn't really matter how it came about, or what happened, it did and now it's time to face it as truth. Do not focus on the problem, the issue or the negative aspect of the occurrence because that will only keep you in the realm of the problem. Focus on the solution. You can only feel so sorry for yourself before it's time to turn around and say "I will not let this define me", "I will surpass this". 

I had my night of misery, aka me crying on the couch, feeling ashamed and just sad. When I woke up the next morning I knew I still would not be able to put pressure on my foot or walk just yet, but that didn't stop me from changing my outlook. I slid out of bed to the floor, grabbed a pillow, sat on it and  literally pushed my way across the floor to the bathtub. I then got in, washed off the icky hospital juju, and slathered some lavender shampoo in my hair. Just the mere thought of me doing something by myself, for myself, was liberating. Once I let go of the problem (not being able to walk) and fixated on the solution I welcomed positivity into my mind and came up with a brilliant way (if I do say so myself) to get across the room. 

2. Be grateful
I could sit here and write down all the things that did happen, but what about all the things that did not happen. Guys, the accident could have been a lot worse! But I listed off in my head what I was grateful for. 
*I was not alone. I could not even imagine if Brandon was not there to act so quickly and get me to the hospital when the bone was literally popping out of the top of my food, and the blood was pouring out of me.  I am so grateful for him and everything he did following.
*Again, it could have been so much worse. I could be in a cast... or worse.
*It's the long weekend and I really don't have anything crucial that needs to get done. Sure, I had plans for the weekend that I had to cancel, but there's always next weekend (aka my birthday weekend, and there's another-- it could have happened on my birthday weekend!).
*My mom's support-- making dinner, bringing me ice cream, taking my laundry... she is god send! 

Point is, I could go on forever with all the things that I can do and have at my fingertips. Again, focus on the positivity and positivity will come. What also helped me was writing this down in my journal. 

3. Allow yourself to rest
I want to always be doing. It's true, I have a hard time slowing down.  But taking the time to rest is essential for recovery. I can't even tell you the last time I sat down to watch TV, but here I am on episode 4 of Good Girls... I'm giving myself the permission to do nothing and it (sort of) feels nice! I am realizing you can't rush recovery. You're life, routine and everything else that comes along with it will be there when you heal. If it's not, it's not worth it. It's so important to listen to your body as it tells you what it really needs, not your mind. You do not want to rush and give yourself a false sense of healing when it can cause more damage to begin in. 

How am I resting?
I am doing it all. Magazines, manicures, books, podcasts, journalling, writing, blogging, drinking fancy tea, drinking fancy water, you name it. Also, I'm wearing lipstick, enjoying a cup of coffee and sitting in a summer dress because these are things that give me pleasure. Give in to the things that give you pleasure. It's okay. 

Now I will likely be on the couch for a bit longer, so I'd love to hear how you cope with setbacks, hurdles, or speed humps. And remember you just need to be yourself, you don't need to prove anything to yourself. Focus on the solution, not the problem and positivity will come.  


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2 comments

  1. I absolutely love this! Feel better!! xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. And you’ve got this! Taking the positive from the whole situation 😘

    ReplyDelete

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