How to Deal With Setbacks

As I sit here writing this, I am couch ridden. Long story short I had an accident at our new house. Regardless of how it happened, I am here now with a boatload of stitches in my left foot and just dealing with it. When it first happened my only thoughts were "you are a fricken idiot", and "how could you let this happen".  After the hospital I went home and felt just miserable, I felt so sorry for myself and just could not let the feelings pass. After a night of feeling like this, I woke up and decided I needed to change my outlook. I needed to change my perspective on the whole issue. I knew I would not wake up 100% and I needed to be okay with that.

For a person that cannot sit still, needs to be doing something and likes to be independent, this was hard to come to terms with. I mean, I can't even walk to the washroom... B is having to literally carry me over there. But instead of focusing on what I cannot do, I need to focus on what I can do. I may not be able to walk but I can think. And I can think myself out of this one. 

If you are struggling with setbacks, mentally or physically I know how challenging and debilitating it can seem. We don't have control over the things we once did and it makes us feel horrible. In hopes to stay sain, I'm making a list of the ways I can deal and cope with this setback. Because it is just a setback, it is not permanent and it will pass. 

1. Let it go

Once you've had your episode of disbelief (because this is definitely going to happen), or anger, let it go. Don't get me wrong it is important to allow yourself time to grieve, but you cannot fixate on the grief. It doesn't really matter how it came about, or what happened, it did and now it's time to face it as truth. Do not focus on the problem, the issue or the negative aspect of the occurrence because that will only keep you in the realm of the problem. Focus on the solution. You can only feel so sorry for yourself before it's time to turn around and say "I will not let this define me", "I will surpass this". 

I had my night of misery, aka me crying on the couch, feeling ashamed and just sad. When I woke up the next morning I knew I still would not be able to put pressure on my foot or walk just yet, but that didn't stop me from changing my outlook. I slid out of bed to the floor, grabbed a pillow, sat on it and  literally pushed my way across the floor to the bathtub. I then got in, washed off the icky hospital juju, and slathered some lavender shampoo in my hair. Just the mere thought of me doing something by myself, for myself, was liberating. Once I let go of the problem (not being able to walk) and fixated on the solution I welcomed positivity into my mind and came up with a brilliant way (if I do say so myself) to get across the room. 

2. Be grateful

I could sit here and write down all the things that did happen, but what about all the things that did not happen. Guys, the accident could have been a lot worse! But I listed off in my head what I was grateful for. 

*I was not alone. I could not even imagine if Brandon was not there to act so quickly and get me to the hospital when the bone was literally popping out of the top of my food, and the blood was pouring out of me.  I am so grateful for him and everything he did following.

*Again, it could have been so much worse. I could be in a cast... or worse.

*It's the long weekend and I really don't have anything crucial that needs to get done. Sure, I had plans for the weekend that I had to cancel, but there's always next weekend (aka my birthday weekend, and there's another-- it could have happened on my birthday weekend!).

*My mom's support-- making dinner, bringing me ice cream, taking my laundry... she is god send! 

Point is, I could go on forever with all the things that I can do and have at my fingertips. Again, focus on the positivity and positivity will come. What also helped me was writing this down in my journal. 

3. Allow yourself to rest

I want to always be doing. It's true, I have a hard time slowing down.  But taking the time to rest is essential for recovery. I can't even tell you the last time I sat down to watch TV, but here I am on episode 4 of Good Girls... I'm giving myself the permission to do nothing and it (sort of) feels nice! I am realizing you can't rush recovery. You're life, routine and everything else that comes along with it will be there when you heal. If it's not, it's not worth it. It's so important to listen to your body as it tells you what it really needs, not your mind. You do not want to rush and give yourself a false sense of healing when it can cause more damage to begin in. 

How am I resting?

I am doing it all. Magazines, manicures, books, podcasts, journalling, writing, blogging, drinking fancy tea, drinking fancy water, you name it. Also, I'm wearing lipstick, enjoying a cup of coffee and sitting in a summer dress because these are things that give me pleasure. Give in to the things that give you pleasure. It's okay. 

Now I will likely be on the couch for a bit longer, so I'd love to hear how you cope with setbacks, hurdles, or speed humps. And remember you just need to be yourself, you don't need to prove anything to yourself. Focus on the solution, not the problem and positivity will come.  

Wedding Dress Shopping 101

I've been on the dress hunt for just over a month now. I was so intimidated to start because I really didn't know where to begin. I was too busy worrying about how daunting it seemed and psyched myself out of the whole thing! What a silly tactic! I mean I browsed through magazines, but it wasn't until I actually got into the stores that I started realizing which designers stood out to me and which styles I was drawn to. A dress can look so different in a picture, and especially on a hanger! If I could tell you how many times I thought "no way", but tried on a dress to realize how beautiful it has, we'd be here all day!

Shopping for your wedding dress should be fun, special and give you butterflies. While I still have not found the perfect dress, I have a put together a few of my tips to make your dress search go as seamless as possible.

First of all, here is THE LOW DOWN on dress shopping:

You enter the boutique (usually they ask you to remove your shoes). You chat with your consultant on your style, preference, thoughts, ideas, budget, etc. They take you around the store introducing you to designers and collections. You then pick 4-6 gowns and head to changing area to try them on. You usually have an area to yourself.  One by one the consultant will assist you to try on the dresses. Don't be shy here, ladies. They've seen it all. Some of them you can tell before you are even zipped up that it's a no. But, there are others that make your heart flutter and you just don't want to take off. By the end of the try-on, you narrow it down to a few of your favorites. Eliminating the majority of them makes it so much easier, but you still leave undecided. Or do you?...




Here are my tips for wedding dress shopping:

Take your time
Dress shopping is not something you want to rush. It's very important to know that it can actually take around 9 months to get the dress made and sent back to you. And then there are alterations! Do not leave it until the last minute. Even if you just pop into different stores to browse,  you may discover what you like about some and what you dislike about others. Take the time to try on all styles. You only get one chance to do it, so go all out! Trying them all on will never make you wonder "what if...".

Book your appointments strategically
If you want to enjoy your experience and not feel pressured or intimidated by other brides, book your appointments from Tuesday-Friday. Most bridal boutiques are not open on Sundays or Mondays, and Saturday is sure to be the busiest day of the week! I took off time from work to make my appointments. I had the boutiques all to myself, the consultants gave me their undivided attention and I had free reign at all the dresses to try! Again, be strategic and book a few appointments on each day in and around the same area so you can maximize your time out of the office. Also, do you know what makes you bloat, gasey, etc? Avoid eating these foods right before your appointments, because you will not feel the best, and you want to feel your best!

Choose your entourage wisely
Think a max two (or three) people. Each time I went with my mom as the appointments were during the day, but I also had my best friend on speed dial and screenshotted her pictures, real time! I really didn't want to bring many people with me as it's more special and intimate this way. And too many opinions are just no good. I overheard one too many heated conversations while shopping and am so glad I avoided that!

Trust your consultant, they are professionals
If your consultant brings you something to try on and you are appalled, just give it a go. Every time I thought I would hate something it ended up being not that bad! They know what they're doing and how all the dresses look on. It's so hard to judge from off a hanger! Don't be afraid to really try them on. And remember, sizing does not matter. Many gowns run small. Allow the consultant to order appropriate size for your measurements, not what you may think is your size.

Once you find it, move on
Here is a tip one of my consultants told me and it is SO key. She told me that once I find my dress, unfollow every bridal store I've followed on Instagram, stop looking at dress magazines, and move on to the next area of planning. You do not need to get sucked into "dress FOMO". You do not need to keep looking because guess what... there will always be a new collection of dresses coming out. There is no way to avoid it! Just remember the feeling you had when you put on your dress and that's it.

Okay, guys, my search continues next week. Wish me luck!

Luxury Skincare Picks for Summer 2018

I am a skincare-a-holic. It's no secret. I am just obsessed with finding the latest products that do more for your skin than cover up a scar or hid a pimple. I am all about addressing the root causes! And I think you guys like that, too! You want to know what I find to be working really well, and since I love to share, I think we have a great relationship going on, don't you?!

So today we are talking luxury skincare finds. I recently discovered a few brands that I am obsessed with for multiple reasons. For starters, the ingredients-- they are all strongly botanically based, and the results-- they all have proven to work so well for me! If you're looking for anything from a new cleanser, a facial mist, a body oil to save your skin from drying out, or even a way to plump up your lips, I got it covered:

EVE LOM
I had been wanting to try Eve Lom for so long, primarily because I heard such great things about their simplistic approach to skincare. Their focus? Truly radiant, flawless, and cleansed skin, in the most gentle way. The Original Balm Cleanser is a cult classic so I knew I had to start there. Want glowing, radiant skin? Want the most luxurious feeling cleanse you'll ever have? Look no further. This balm feels extremely silky on your face, it exfoliates and cleans, and it comes with a muslin cloth that works miracles for removing makeup (yes, eye make up, too). The smell is so heavenly and it's also packed with plant oils and other great ingredients (cocoa butter, eucalyptus,  chamomile, clove) to work its magic on the skin and target every need. I actually look forward to cleansing my face every night. Using this cleanser has made my nightly routine that much more enjoyable! No joke! I have seen gotten hooked on Eve Lom's other products, such as the Rescue Mask and Face Mist.

NUXE
Oils are truly a magnificent addition to your skincare regime. Ever since I started using them, I have not been able to stop. The Huile Prodigieuse by Nuxe is a dry oil that hydrates your body and hair and leaves the most gorgeous sheen to your skin. It's the summer, and adding a bit of shimmer to my legs is top priority, especially for someone who doesn't sit out in the sun. It's packed with plant ingredients with over 98% of ingredients derived botanically. It's French, it's fabulous and did I mention you'll smell like a French woman? Seriously who doesn't want to smell like a French woman?

PAI
Yes, more oils! The Rosehip BioRegenate Oil by Pai is another luxury skincare essential. It's no wonder this is one of their best sellers. First of all, did you know Pai means goodness? Not only are their products good, but they are good for you! Want firm skin? Glowy, dewy skin? What about riding yourself of lines, wrinkles, patchy skin and scars? Rose-hip oil is known for its regenerative properties so you can watch it heal your skin, and protect against future stressors. I love slathering it on before bed or mixing it into my day cream for a dewy look. It actually creates a bronze effect on your skin! No sun necessary.

RODIAL
Ever since I first discovered Rodial Beauty on The Beauty and the Vlog Podcast I knew I had to try out the line. I was so inspired by founder Maria's story of entrepreneurship and early career days. For my first products, I knew I wanted to try the Dragon's Blood range. I tried out the Essence Mist and the Lip Masks. Could they actually plump my lips? I was intrigued. I was so excited that I tested them out the evening I got them! Looking back I should have waited until I was going out to use the masks! But they actually work! They are packed with hyaluronic acid to provide intense hydration and stay moisturized. I woke up and my lips were still plump. Both products are total luxuries, but totally worth it!

Do you have any skincare finds that make your skin feel oh-so luxe? Are any of these speaking to you? Let me know! And like always if you have a specific skin care need, feel free to ask me for suggestions. I love to help!

Brands are also available at Murale by Shopper's Drug Mart. Check out your nearest location for stock! 

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